


Secret Moments

by geniusincombatboots



Series: The Doctor's Romance [2]
Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-04-19
Packaged: 2019-04-04 10:47:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14018616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geniusincombatboots/pseuds/geniusincombatboots
Summary: Extended romantic scenes from my story; Forget Me Not.





	1. The Dream

It wasn’t the first dream that he had had about Zenia. The first time she had come into his dreams unbidden, immediately after they met. He had dreamt about her coming into his alcove at the library and he had woken without being able to breathe.

The more he had grown to know her, and care for her, the more intense his dreams had become.

They all began the same, because he had never seen her anywhere but in the library. That was the world in which she existed in his mind as flawed as he knew that idea was. He knew that she had a life beyond their hour together, that she had an entire life outside of what he knew, even as he tried to know more of her life. There was a sharp edge to her in some way that he wanted to cut himself on.

He knew he had fallen asleep again at his work desk, where he found himself sleeping as often in his own bed. He knew he was asleep because suddenly there she was running into his alcove, “What are you doing here?”

She was running, her skirts grasped up in her fists, and throwing herself into him, all hungry mouth and hands. Her red dress was opening as if bound to both of their wills and not the ties that bound them shut. By contrast his clothes remained firmly in place until the delicate claws of her fingers were undoing the buttons at his waistcoat, and her hand reached in side the collar of his shirt when she pulled back from his lips.

“Shall I go then?” her nails teased against his ribs, softly caressing his flesh with the risk of danger that thrilled him.

He didn’t answer her, but leaned forward to kiss her again. Her free hand grasped at his throat, stopping him just a fraction of an inch from her lips, “I asked you a question, and you will give me an answer.”

“I want you to stay, miss,” he said, his voice low and husky. Her hand pushed him down gently to sit on his chair, his arms bound in place as she moved around him in a close circle. Her fingers stroked over his skin before she was biting the side of his neck and up to his ear. His head rolled back against her shoulder, letting himself fall back into her arms. But then she was giggling and when he looked up at her she was blushing scarlet. He was drawn to her guilelessness, even in his unwaking mind. There was something sweet in her that he longed to understand and treasure.

“Julian,” she whispered, kissing his neck again and he felt every part of him, body and mind aching to reach out to her. She stroked a nailed finger against one of his bound arms as she circled him again, looking him over before kneeling in front of him, and stroking a hand gently over his chest, “I should hate to disappoint you.”

“You never could,” he leaned forward as far as he could and tried not to smile as she shifted just out of his reach.

“And if I can’t give you want you want?” she stroked her fingertips over his calf muscle, “Will you send me away?”

“I would die for want of you,” he murmured. He was already hard for her, and he knew she could tell. It was frustrating that even in his dreams he was forced to delay satisfaction. His silent voice was even thicker now, and he was certain his own words would strangle him where they were, “Please come here.”

“You’ve never been so direct,” she whispered, pulling the hem of her shift up and stepped forward to straddle his lap, “What has changed, then?” Her fingers stroked up the back of his neck to cradle him.

“I am asleep,” he whispered, “This is a dream. There are no consequences in dream,” he rolled his head back in her hands as she began to unlace the front of his trousers, the back of her hand applying pressure against his erect member.

“Tell me you want me,” she murmured, her hand wrapped itself around him for the briefest moment before withdrawing.

“I need you,” his hooded yes cast themselves quickly over her face, “Please, I beg you.”

Her hand that wasn’t clinging to his neck was adjusting her shift up again.

“Will you take it off? I want to see you,” Julian murmured. Though he found that he regretted it as soon as she took her shift off. His hands, still bound he couldn’t touch her, even as he longed to, even as it thrilled him to be her plaything. Her arms went around his neck as she shifted, accepting him into her. She was warm and close and just as he felt her he woke from his dream.

It was the frustration of it that drove him to distraction. His entire body ached from the longing. His hands trembled on the desktop. He hadn’t ever touched himself upon waking from these fantasies. He wanted to know how long it might take to lose his mind, but he felt his resolve to the bizarre idea slipping through his fingers.

He felt himself relenting, and the fever of need that broke out across his back. He was rolling his sleeve up and unlacing the front of his trousers when he noticed the mark on his wrist. He stopped short, staring at what looked like impressions from his wrist being bound.

Julian rolled down the other sleeve, and found a matching pink ligature. He held his wrists up, examining them curiously.

0x0x0

Zenia lay in her bed, awoken by another dream, her thighs pressed together against the wet want brought on by her dreams. She was longing for something that she didn’t understand. It felt like something else was in her mind, vying with her own dreams.

She glanced over at where Selena was sleeping in her own small bed on the other side of the small room they shared. Their beds were made of rough-hewn wood and they slept on thin straw filled mattresses. Their beds made sounds, either the wheezing of the wood slats or the bristling sound of the straw in their mattresses, whenever they moved. In moments like this, Zenia wondered if it was some test of morality. If you didn’t just lay still in your bed without any real movement the next two rooms would hear through the thin plaster walls.

She wondered if Julian was awake, and working late as he often did.


	2. Festival Night

Reaching out suddenly, Julian pulled Zenia into his arms, holding her close and pulling her to open the bed, and kissing her face gently as if he was afraid that he might break her. She grinned in the dark, setting her glasses away on a side table by the bed, before pulling his shirt off over his head, straddling him before gripping him close again, finding his lips in the darkness.

She never wanted it to stop. She’d never felt anything like this.

He couldn’t quite see her beyond the outline of her painted in the pale moonlight. He gently pulled back from her and got up from the bed.

“Are you alright?” she asked, sitting up.

“Yes, of course,” he was pulling open the curtains to try and light the room and her more. It did little to help and what little of her he could see looked confused. She watched him, or rather the general shape of him. He hurried toward her, and wrapped his arms back on either side of her propping himself up to look down at, “I wanted to try to see you better.”

She rolled her eyes, “You’re such a romantic,” she pulled him back down against her lips.

He felt nervous as if he’d never had sex before, and he didn’t know what it was about her that made him so unsure about himself to the point of lying. He wasn’t drunk, or anywhere near it, but his nerves made him question whether or not he should even dare to do what he wanted to.

Those thoughts pulsed at the back of his brain as she kissed over his throat, nipping at the skin, and nestling her lips against his midnight stubble.

“Tell me what you want,” she whispered against his ear before biting his earlobe.

“I want you,” he said for the first time out loud without pretense or the promise of a disappointment at the end of those words. The honesty of it was exhilarating.

“What do you want me to do?” her voice was warm against his ear. She smiled at the admission, her lips against his throat. She liked the feeling of his body reacting to her ministrations, the bulge in the front of his trousers pressing against her.

His mind reeled at the question. He pulled back, looking down at her. His answer wasn’t really to her question, but it was the only one he could honestly give her, “I want to serve you.”

She was grinning up at him, pushing his shoulders back, “Lay on your back now.” It was too gentle to be an order, but he would take it as one. He wanted her to take complete control over him, and he let his wrists fall languidly over his head.

She smiled at him as she straddled him, and raised a brow down at him. She lifted the hem of her shift slowly, pulling the garment up over her head, tossing it aside. He marveled looking over her skin.

“I’ll need one of those pretty hands of yours,” she held her hand out to him.

Julian raised a hand over his head slowly, letting his hand fall into hers. She was looking at that hand like a lost relic. Her lips opened and she let her lips close around his thumb. His breath caught in his throat as she suckled the digit. She was watching him closely, her other hand trailing up his chest, her nails stroking over his chest, testingly. Every hair on his body stood on end as they went up to his neck.

Her hand rested against his neck, as she let his thumb free from her mouth with a gentle popping sound. She guided his hand slowly over her chest, letting his fingers graze over her breasts on their way down. His eyes widened as he tilted his head up against her hand to look at her. He watched her position his hand against her wet sex, with a slow deliberation, rubbing her clit against his thumb.

Her hand at this throat pushed him back down as he felt himself getting harder under her, his erection pulsing as she rolled her hips against his hand. She leaned forward over his chest, hips still moving, “Do you want to fuck me?”

“Yes,” he didn’t recognize the sound of his own voice.

“Yes, what?” she asked.

“Yes, please,” he begged, “please.”

She grinned, a giggle caught in her throat as she moved to help him out of his trousers, undoing the ties in the dark as best as she could, fumbling with the knots. Julian ached for her, but he could have watched her forever. When she finally got the ties undone, he sat up to slip them down off of his hips. She shucked them the rest of the way off of him, tossing them aside dramatically, her arms thrown to the side.

She grinned at him, her face bright enough to light the room. He crawled toward her, grasping out to her. She hesitated seeing him fully erect. He was a tall man, but my god, he was bigger than she had expected.

“Come here,” he smiled back, “I need you.”

“I thought you wanted me to take charge,” she teased.

“If you don’t come to me, I’ll have to take care of myself,” his hand stroking over his hardened cock, “What would you do then?”

She didn’t answer, but climbed back into his arms, grasping to him, and feeling somewhat relieved. Her hand grasped his cock and guided him into her. He melted into her, his whole body bending into her, his face pressed into the crook of her neck.

Her legs moved over his hips, resting behind his back, her hands rested against his hips, holding them still with the gentle suggestion. She adjusted slowly against him, shifting forward against his cock.

He turned his head to look at her, as he tried not to feel proud of himself, “take all the time you need.”

She leaned forward and bit his shoulder in retort as she shifted to accept the rest of him in, almost as a challenge. Her hips moved slowly against him, letting her body get used to him, before looking back up at him, and found him smiling.

“What?” she smiled back, shifting her hips against his.

His hands went to her face, holding her as he started to reciprocate her movement. He didn’t care in that moment what his tendencies were. He just wanted to be with her in this moment, savoring her. He might never have this again, and it killed him. He pushed those thought away when he looked at her, and felt himself in her.

He swallowed, remembering to breath as he moved, trying to last as long as he could. He pushed his chest against hers gently, pushing her back against the bed. He cradled her head in his hands, watching her as her body moved up against his. Her eyes closed and her head lolled back against the dark brocade, and she felt himself slipping into euphoric madness as he finished inside of her. The sound that came out of him wasn’t quite gentlemanly.

Zenia stilled under the weight of him, stroking her fingers through his auburn hair, studying the way the moonlight glinted off the auburn locks. He was too beautiful to bear when he looked back up at her. He smiled an unguarded smile, a wide goofy grin that pulled at her heart. He opened his mouth to speak, but her fingers pressed at his lips. She returned his smile, but she wanted to save that image in her mind forever.

He had only promised her the one night.


	3. A New Ally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Anirae, viciti, and thraxbaby as well as all my guests for their kudos! Also thank you to Chaotica-chan for her comment! Love you guys.  
> I hope you enjoy!

Her eyes slid shut as she reveled in his touch. She leaned back against his chest, tilting her face up to look at him. If he had ever thought to take Asra’s advice and have her portrait painted, it wouldn’t be this moment he would want to capture. He would want her in a fine dress with some silk in the back behind her. Her features would be composed in one of those courtly masks that were both distant and beckoning. The way she looked now was something that he wanted to keep only for him, and he wanted no one else to ever see the look she was giving him.

Her face now was beautifully alluring, peering up at him under night black lashes with her dark eyes, and her full lips parted up at him. He would give her anything for that look, and for the hand reaching over her shoulder to stroke his cheek. He pulled her closer, holding her in his arms as he bent to kiss the side of her neck gently, tenderly. He buried his face in the dark curly cloud of her hair, letting her scent envelope him. She turned in his arms, and pulled him down to kiss her, throwing herself into him fully, and grinned against his lips as he accepted her without hesitation.

His arms wrapped around her as she turned into his embrace, pressing firmly against his chest, tilting her face back to look up at him. He stared down at her, longingly, every shred of his restraint tossed to the wind. His hands were so large when he held it against her face, “Tell me what you want.”

She didn’t answer, but her hand reached between them and into his trousers, stroking at his cock. She was staring at him, and he didn’t even wonder how well she could see him. He was melting into her grasp, groaning against her slow touch. It was agonizing.

“Zenia, I-“

“Hush,” she put her free hand over his mouth, before trailing her fingers over his throat and down his chest, “Did I say you could speak?”

He bit his lip, grinning.

“You’re going to be good?” she asked, smirking at him, “Nod.”

He nodded, and followed her hand on his chest pushing him back to the bed, and smiled at him as he sat on the edge of the bed. He stared at her entranced as she stooped slowly to her knees. It was something about the way her hips moved as she lowered herself. She undid his trousers and helped him out of them before her hand slid back up his thigh to stroke his hardening cock.

“Close your eyes,” she said, her voice was husky, and he hesitated, his hand stroking through her hair. She leaned into his hand, and kissed his hand, her own speeding up her rhythm. Julian’s hand instinctively tightened in her hair. She leaned forward and bit his thigh, “Now close your eyes,” she laughed out, kissing the bite mark that would bruise on his leg.

He was so beautiful that she ached looking at him, but she didn’t know why she was doing this, except that he wanted it. She was fairly certain that he wanted her to be even more aggressive, and there was the messed up part of her brain that wondered how far she could push him. But she wouldn’t ever do that.

She licked up over the seam of his cock in a slow measured movement, and she wetted her tongue again and took her time with it, and watched him. Her mouth slid down over his cock, her tongue working in her mouth as best as she could.

Julian’s back arched up against the sensations wracking through him. There was this sudden thought at the back of his mind that wasn’t fully formed, but he wanted to grasp out and hold her, but he wasn’t sure he could move anymore. When she pulled back entirely he suddenly was aware of his whole body, and the absence of her.

Zenia looked down at him, walking slowly around the bed. Julian stared up at her, a messy man, crawling toward her. She smiled down, looking at him and feeling her heart swelling up as he reached for her.

“May I?” he asked in such a quiet voice that her heart swelled up.

“May you?”

“I want you here,” he smiled at her. His pale eyes were half hidden under those perfect lashes.

Zenia crawled over the bedspread slowly, “Where?” she was giggling. She was so terrible at this. She collapsed next to him, giggling and rolling on to his chest, “I’m sorry.”

“Come here,” Julian was smiling up at her. He appreciating the effort she’d put in as his hands found her hips and led her back to him. She threw a leg over his hips, pulling him closer to her, pulling him back to her.

She wanted to be what he wanted her to be, and it was the first time in her life she’d really thought about what she might be. She’d spent most of her life trying to survive, but she had a future with him and she wanted that future.

Zenia pressed him onto his back and gripped his wrists by the sides of his face and slid herself down onto him, guiding him into her. She leaned forward, capturing his lips under hers, and started moving her hips against his. She pressed herself against him closer and closer, watching him and memorizing the contortions of his face. In all likelihood he would go into some existential crisis in the morning but she had this moment for now, and she would take every second of it that she could get.

Julian sat up slowly, his hands finding her face and kissing her gently. One of his hands slid slowly over her back, and wrapped his arm around her waist, “Slow,” he whispered.

“I thought you liked it fast,” she teased him, looking across the small space between them, “and rough.”

“Right now, I just want you,” he murmured, moving her hips slowly against hers, “Just you,” he traced her throat with his lips. He rolled her over onto her back, and held her close to him. He looked down at her, smiling a little as he took her in and let himself go entirely.


	4. Autopsies and Realization

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to WhenTheSkyDances for the kudos!  
> I've had a bit of a block lately and have resorted to expanding chapters that would have had smut scenes in them. I'm still learning how to write smut scenes and Julian's predilection is a little harder to write for me, so I'm doing my best to do research. That said, here's another chapter, and I'll try to have more up soon.

He grasped her quickly in his arms, pulling her close against him, rolling to pin her against the downy mattress. He pressed his lips to hers, savoring their laughter before all else.

“Let me go,” she laughed, gasping.

His hands held her wrists flat against the bed, “No.”

“Sir!” she gasped as his mouth finding her throat.

“Hush, minx,” he groaned against her throat.

She bit her lip to stop herself giggling. Where was this coming from? He’d always been so submissive to her, bending to her will like so many leaves of grass. His hands grasping her wrists against the silk coverlet made her pulse speed. He loomed over her like a large cat toying with its prey before going for the kill. Zenia bit her lip looking up at him in the close space between them.

Julian smirked and stood up, peering down at his lover, as he started dressing, “I am running late.”

She grabbed a pillow and threw it at his head, “You tease.”

He laughed catching the pillow, and gave her a quick kiss.

“It’s too early for you to go to work yet,” she grasped at the front of his trousers, pulling him back to bed. 

“No, I have an early appointment,” Julian smiled. He should tell her, but there was something that told him she wouldn’t like it.

“Shut up, and come here, you fool,” she smiled up at him, sliding her hands up over the hem of her nightdress, shifting it up slightly against her golden brown thighs, “Unless your appointment is terribly more important.”

He looked over her flesh hungrily. There were things he wanted to do to her. He hesitated a moment and glanced out through the window. He had almost an hour to spare he decided, before kneeling on the bed between those beautifully inviting thighs. There was something so terribly enchanting about her and she couldn’t be sure that she hadn’t possessed him. If she had, if she had placed him under some dark spell he would be glad to be so possessed for the rest of his life.

His fingertips hovered over her thighs, hesitantly. “May I?” His voice was so quiet as he asked for her blessing.

Zenia leaned up, stroking her fingers tenderly over his lips, “Don’t ask for permission. I want you to show me what it is you like so well,” she bit her lip, looking at his, “But be gentle.”

He felt as though it was some game, baiting him, but he understood why she would ask him it. She wanted to understand how to give him what he wanted. Even as he was excited by the idea of pain, it was only his own that drove him to distraction. He could never think of hurting anyone else, least of all her.

He grazed his fingertips gently over her skin, watching it goose-bump as each tiny hair stood to attention like flowers turning to the sun for life, “Take this off,” he murmured, his lips caressing her fingertips, as his fingertips brushed the hems of her shift.

She shifted onto her knees slowly, and crossing her arms, took the thin garment up over her head. Julian’s hands smoothed over her tenderly for a moment before pushing her back against the unmade bed.

“You are mine, then?” he asked, leaning over her to gently hold her wrists over her head, “All of you?”

“Yes,” she smiled up at him.

“And you will answer any question honestly?” Julian asked, trailing his fingertips down the length of her breastbone, tracing a slow lazy trail over her skin, looking over her as the dark buds of her nipples hardened. 

“Of course,” she murmured. She understood the aspect of trust, and had when he had grabbed her at first, but she knew he wouldn’t know what to do anymore than she did.

He trailed his fingers over her belly slowly, and leaned his face into the crook of her neck, breathing deeply the smell of sleep still on her skin, “If you lie, I will be very upset with you,” he murmured near her ear.

She closed her eyes, felling as if there were an electric current going through her.

“Have you ever had an orgasm before?” he asked letting the words pour slowly out of him and into her ear.

She faltered, “Yes.”

The tip of his nose brushed against her cheek. He knew she hadn’t with him, “With a partner, or by yourself?” He watched her in profile. 

She didn’t answer.

“Was that a lie then?” he asked, his fingers trailing back up to her breast.

“Yes,” she bit her lip.

“Roll over,” Julian said gently, watching her as she did. He leaned forward and kissed her shoulder before raising his hand and spanking her, letting his hand stay pressed against her stinging skin before rolling her on to her back again. He pulled her tenderly to him, and pressed a kiss to her lips. 

His fingers worked slowly over her thighs and found their aim between them, moving slowly over the sweet rosebud of her sex. His lips traveled down the whole of her body to that secret place and placed a gentle kiss there for a moment before looking up at her, “you are not allowed to move your hands from above your head for a moment.”

He lapped over her slowly and methodically, knowing what he was about, and how to achieve it. He took his time with it, but time he had. 

At first it only tickled a little, and she wasn’t sure what it was he was doing at all, but she trusted that he knew what he was doing and slowly, she began to think he did. It was like he was pulling down the stones of a dam one by one until she could hardly stand it. Her hands over her head grasped madly at a pillow begging for release. There were these noises coming out of her that she didn’t recognize, because she wasn’t sure they were really of her making at all. When that wall finally broke down she felt as if everything had becoming tinged with a golden light.

Only then did he press into her and she whimpered out at the feeling of him. Every part of her quivered, squeezing against him, giving him a satisfaction he hadn’t been sure he would know.

Julian grinned down at her, holding her hands in his still in place, before kissing her deeply, his tongue sliding into her mouth, letting her taste herself. Her back arched up against him, begging for more, and more and more, even when he was finished.

He laughed, “And that’s what it is like.” He pressed his forehead against hers.

“It’s about the trust, is it?”

“Partially,” he smiled, slowly withdrawing from her.

Zenia let out a slow laugh, lying back, she felt suddenly exhausted, “I’m not sure I could replicate that if I tried for years.”


End file.
